Saturday, July 21, 2012

Listen!






Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but can't complete
Listen
To the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen

[Chorus]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago

Oh, I'm screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Bent to your own all 'cause you won't listen

[Chorus]

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't
If you won't


Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but I will complete
Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own
My own

Oath to myself

Man up, please! It's not death or some shit. It's just an error. Fix it and go!

Your age has just come. Live your life. Be the man. I'm not a child. I'm a man now. Man will be man. 

You made me man. I wish nothing but the best for you. Thanks. Love you.


I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Shittiest day of my life

One of the most shittiest days of my life has just passed. I'm broke and creep on these days. Everything seems like bullshit. All the things you said running through head... 

Two years ago, it started. Two years later, it seems like finishing. Even now, I can't believe that this was happened. I don't want to finish. But why you want to end it? 

No woman - No Cry. Meaning is not like Marley's one. Love is a killer. Today, I'm becoming older and loser. 50/2. What have I done in the past? Nothing. All this life is meaningless. No discipline, no hope and no life. May be, it's better or worse. Nothings box. You just know Nothing Box. I was like Merso. But you were stranger than him. Like you say, you are the ultimate stranger. Because, you're weirdo creature. Then you don't understand my nothing box. It's illogical.  

These days, suicide thoughts are always on my mind. Though, how can I do? First, Mommy comes to my mind, then my son. But why? 

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? Actually, I don't know for know. I can't make absolute decision.

No, no, no, nooooooooooo.........

I thought, you were Woman like Man in Me. But you... How could you behave like that?

May be, you're wrong. Your thoughts can be fake. Just illusion of you wrong attitude. But the reality is different.

I regret. Fuck that CinemAurum!

 

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further
This ain't lust, I know this is love

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Saturday, July 7, 2012


Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles; coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science; science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Нэхээс

Enkhzaya - Nehees
Зурган дээр дарж томруулж харна уу.


Таны харж байгаа энэ зураг бол "Нэхээс". Зураач Э.Энхзаяагийн бүтээл. Надад энэ бүтээл их таалагддаг. Яагаад таалагддаг вэ гэвэл энэ зураг миний сэтгэл эмзэглэж явдаг зүйлийг хөндсөнд учир нь байгаа юм.

Бүсгүй юм нэхэж байна. Цагаан өнгө бол эмэгтэй хүн. Хиргүй тунгалаг ариухан цагаахан. Харин хар өнгө бол эр хүн. Хүчтэй, ухаантай, хараатай. Амьдралд арга билэг лүгээ хар цагаан өнгө сүлэлдэх номтой.

Сүүлийн жилүүдэд эмэгтэйчүүдийн дунд хэтэрхий биеэ даасан, бүхнийг өөрийнхөөрөө хийж өөрийнхөөрөө байлгах гэсэн хандлага тахал мэт тархжээ. Энэ хэрээр ч эрдэм боловсролтой, хүчирхэг эмэгтэйчүүд ихээр гарч ирж байна. Энэ нь ч сайн хэрэг. Гэвч нөгөөтэйгүүр тэр хэрээрээ эрчүүдийг үгүйсгэх, тэднээс илүү гарах, эрчүүдийг дорд үзэх, феминист хандлага ихээхэн гаарч буйд би их сэтгэл эмзэглэж явдаг. Тэд ч нэхээсээ нэхэж л байна. Гэхдээ амьдрал, тэдний нэхсэн нэхээс тийм ч бат бөх биш, амархан сэмэрнэ, хөвөрнө, урагдан, тасарна. Хар утас харин нэхээсийг илүү бат бөх, чанга хүчтэй, бүрэн бүтэн болгоно. Энийг уншиж байгаа зарим хүн дотроо үгүйсгэж байж ч болох юм. Гэхдээ л энэ бол үнэн. Хорвоо дэлхийд хүн төрөлхтөн хосоороо байхаараа заяагдсан. Энэ бол байгалийн хууль.Хэдийгээр орчин үеийн эмэгтэйчүүд амьдралд хатуу чанга болж, юм бүхэнд манлайлахыг хүсэж байгаа ч эрчүүдэд заяагдсан эрч хүчийг, тэдний орон зайг нөхөж чадахгүй. Энэн шиг үлгэрийг хэзээ ч хаана ч хэн ч бүр тэр байтугай Эзоп ч хэлж байгаагүй шүү. Нүдээ нээгээд өөрийнхөө төсөөллөөсөө салж юмыг бодитоор харахыг хичээцгээ бүсгүйчүүд минь. Эмэгтэй хүн яахав ганцаараа байвал эцэг эх, найз нөхөд гээд яаж ийж байгаад өөрийгөө болгоод яваад байж болох юм. Аа харин хүүхэдтэй бол энэ бүр ч хэцүү. Тэр эмэгтэйд, хүүхдэд нь эр хүний нөмөр нөөлөг, халамж хайр, хүч чадал заавал хэрэг болно. Хэдийгээр яаж ийгээд болох ч, нэг л юм дутуу...

Энэ бүхнээс болж гэр бүл салалт үүснэ. 1990 онд Монголд 449,4 мянган гэр бүл, 17968 гэрлэлт, 1127 гэр бүл цуцлалт бүртгэгдэж байсан бол эдгээр үзүүлэлтүүд 2006 онд 632,5 мянга, 48996, 1448 болж гэр бүл 40,7 хувиар, гэрлэлт 2,7 дахин, гэр бүл цуцлалт 28,5 хувиар тус тус өсчээ.
Зураач бүсгүй өгүүлэхдээ: “Эрчүүдэд байгалиас заяасан эрч хүчийг эмэгтэй хүн зөв залбал ямар ч гэрт аз жаргал дүүрэн байна. Бид бүхнийг хийж чадна гэдэг хэрнээ хадаас тогтоох, хүнд юм өргөх зэрэгт эрчүүдийг царайчилдаг. Тэдний л хийх ёстой ажил мэт боддог. Тэгэхээр эр хүний үүрэг, ролийг хэтэрхий үгүйсгэж, тэдэнгүйгээр амьдрал болдог гэж боддог эмэгтэй хүн олширсон нь сэтгэл эмзэглүүлдэг. Эр хүнээ дээдэлдэг монгол ёс хааччихав!?”
 Ийм зөв бодолтой эмэгтэй ер нь одоо хэр их байгаа бол? 

Яагаад эмэгтэй хүнийг эмэгтэй гэж нэрлэсэн юм бэ? Үр хүүхдээ гаргаж, өсгөж, хүмүүжүүлдэг болохоор л... Яагаад эрэгтэй хүнийг эрэгтэй гэж нэрлэсэн юм бэ? Үрийг нь асарч өсгөж буй эмэгтэйд хань болох, амьдарлаа, ажил гэр, ахуйгаа авч явдаг болохоор л ингэж нэрлэсэн болов уу. Шал өөр хоёр бүтээл. Гэхдээ нэг нэгэнгүйгээрээ байж чадахгүй.

Эмэгтэйчүүд минь жаахан бодолтой байл даа!?

Үзэсгэлэнгийн талаар эндээс: http://www.mongolnews.mn/i/32055
Гэр бүл салалтын судалгаа: hynalt.miniih.com/index.php/home/post/26